Music: Summer Years by DCFC

Death Cab For Cutie's ninth LP is due to release in mid-August but they're already in full-swing, promoting it by playing new songs at their most recent shows. Of the three songs ("Gold Rush" being the only officially released track), "Summer Years" definitely takes the cake as the most emotional and relatable song for me...



"Sometimes I wake at night and watch the rain fall in the street lights. As you're standing still in my mind, fading out, waving goodbye. And I wonder where you are tonight -- if the one you're with was a compromise. As we're walking lines in parallel and we'll never meet... and it's just as well."

At first I was completely convinced that this song was playing it straight when it came to its meaning. Now I say that since in recent interviews Ben Gibbard, the band's lead singer and writer, mentioned that he didn't want his music to be seen as these cryptic puzzles to be figured out. But after listening to it for what seemed like the 20th time I realized that my interpretation has given the song new shape and meaning.

While on the surface, "Summer Years" sounds like a sad tune about a missed connection, one that was almost definitely meant to be, I'm starting to think that the song is actually meant to be taken as if he's actually talking to himself. Which makes you come at the song from a completely different perspective than one would on a first listen.

The lyrics about parallel lines that never intersect could mean two people with lives that are just so different than they have no chance of ever running into each other again... OR it could mean that after one drastic decision his entire world changed and there's no way the two versions of himself can ever meet again. It does feel like an idea out of left-field UNTIL you hear the next few verses upon which it all starts to come together:

"Sometimes I'm overcome by every choice I couldn't outrun. Junctions all disappear. Can't double-back to your summer years."

It's a haunting thought to think or ponder where you might be if you took a different path, but that's exactly the question he's posing himself. Two separate yet simultaneous existences that can't mingle with each other and are completely oblivious to each other. The extreme duality is defined in that last verse which speaks about a junction -- a fork in the road that lead into two completely different directions. And the thought of not being able to double-back, or make a U-turn, only drives home the concept that there was something he decided long ago that made him unable to go back on that choice.

Then there's that opening line where he says that sometimes he's overcome by those same choices that either were made or made without his consent. Hearing the word overcome makes me think of just being overtaken by emotion, possibly even driven to tears, when you're just laying in bed and can't stop about certain moments or points in your life that seem to hurt so much upon looking back on them.

The rest of the song repeats the chorus, the same lines about parallel lines, not being able to meet, and how it's probably for the best. Again, I've come to think of it as a self-reflection: he made a choice that would change his life forever and now the other version of himself is fading away. The repetition of this portion of the song symbolizes time and how far he is from those summer years, his adolescence. And that works wonderfully with the saddened question he asks himself, "if the one you're with was a compromise?" He's curious whether or not if his former self is happy but due to the impossibility of viewing that alternate, parallel universe of himself, he can only wonder and then accept that it's probably better for him not to know, and to just keep moving forward.

And yet, I do not want to overlook the obvious. Keeping an eye over your shoulder and thinking about those in the past, those who were once the most important people in your life, shouldn't be a bad thing. Yes, it's a hard pill to swallow when you have to wonder when you aren't able to pick up a phone and call those people to see what they're up to, but is it wrong to hope they're doing well? Is it a part of moving on or growing up to accept that we won't always be close to those we're close to now?

As I enter my third decade on this planet, I'm slowly beginning to see the journey of life and its many stages and forms. How not everything gets folded, organized neatly, and put away into a box. Like papers that get ripped apart and never get glued or taped back together, the same can be said about hearts, our memories, and our connections to people. Maybe one day the pain will be gone or it'll slowly fade away, but there are times when I too am up at night watching the rain fall in the street lights.